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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422751">You look into my eyes (and all you'll see is darkness)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/parker_stories/pseuds/parker_stories'>parker_stories</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The secrets of Peter Parker [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I don't know why I make my boy sad, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Poor Peter Parker, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and Peter, i would die for her</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:29:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/parker_stories/pseuds/parker_stories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked, ignoring the way his voice cracked. Peter stared at him for a while, looking as if he was debating if Tony was serious or not, at the end, the kid decided to go with a sigh before shrugging.</p><p>"I don't know, I guess I thought it wasn't important" Tony sighed as he watched Peter turn his gaze towards his scars again.</p><p>"Peter-" </p><p>"what? It's true, why would it be important? I literally got them because I couldn't get my shit on hold and thought cutting my own wrist would make it better, there's way more important things than that"</p><p> </p><p>OR: Under a beloved movie night between Starks and one Parker, Morgan finds weird looking scars on her brothers wrist, scars that Peter wished could go die in a hole. </p><p> </p><p>  <em> Why did she had to get so nosy? <em></em></em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker &amp; Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) &amp; Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The secrets of Peter Parker [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>606</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You look into my eyes (and all you'll see is darkness)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello people! I'm so glad you decided to read this fic!</p><p>I've been wanting to write this for a while, where Morgan accidentally finds out about something dark from Peter's past, and Tony is just there and having a heart attack. </p><p>I don't know</p><p>But I hope you like this! </p><p>enjoy! :)</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING: mention of self-harm and suicide!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a peaceful evening at the Stark cabin, the rain was drumming heavily on the wooden roof as the sound traveled through the house. Frozen II was playing quietly on the TV in the living room as three people was bundled up on the couch. Two Starks and one Parker, all content, all warm.</p><p>Tony was sitting on the left side of the couch, an arm around his pseudo son as Peter rested his head on the man's shoulder. In the middle of the pair, one Morgan Stark was seated as she looked with heavy eyes on the screen. Her little hand playing with the oldest kid's sweater as Peter had his arm around her tiny form. </p><p>It had been two months since everyone came back to life. Tony was alive since his suit took most of the power from the gauntlet, leaving him with only a tree-like scar that was stretching itself from his hand up to his face.</p><p>And after that, Tony had officially retired as Iron-Man. </p><p>So now, Peter was sitting besides his new father figure with his sister in his lap, a warm and fuzzy feeling filling him. He hasn't felt this relaxed in a long time, not since Ben, but he guessed Tony took over that role now.</p><p>He took a minute to breath in the sweet smell that came from their earlier cooking session as he looked around the cabin. The fireplace was burning right below where the TV was hanging on the wall, the crackling sound from all of the dancing Flames barely drowning out the TV's volume. Morgan would start humming slightly along to the movie whenever a song started playing, her tiny hands tapping along to the music in an almost perfect rhythm (which, by the way, was fucking impressive for a five year old)</p><p>A happy sigh fell from his lips, making Tony smile down at him and squeezing him tighter, his eyelids went shut as he took in the little world around them. He felt safe, safer than ever, with Tony at his side, Morgan in his lap, it was enough to quiet down the constant thoughts about the outside of the cabin. </p><p>He felt Morgan drag her small fingers over the soft material as she started to hum absently. She didn't seem to be very engrossed in the movie, but it was probably because she'd already seen the it at least 22 times.</p><p>Her attention was mostly on his hand, since it was apparently the most interesting thing on the whole planet for a five year old, even when her dad <em>and</em> her brother was fricking superheroes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But you never seem to get any respect these days do you?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As time ticked by, his eyelids was getting heavier and heavier as he relaxed more into his mentor. He felt the man shift a little before laying his head on top of his. The genius started dragging his hand up and down Peter's arm before it absently began to drum patterns over it, and as the patterns became more different, Peter started to realize he was using Morse code on his arm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>S.A.F.E</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>H.E.R.E</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>P.E.T.E.R</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Another grin spread out on his face as he huffed a quiet laugh, making Tony hide a smile in the crown of his hair. Morgan looked up weirdly at them when she felt the vibration of Peter's laugh, Peter just brought up his hand to her hair as he pushed away a few strands from her face. </p><p>Luckily that was enough of an answer since Morgan quickly returned back to her 'hand exploring', leaving Peter and Tony to their little Morse code conversation. It didn't take long for Tony to stop drumming words and return to just squeeze Peter tighter into himself, and as the movie was coming to an end, both of the geniuses was almost completely out of it. </p><p>Peter didn't realize when Morgan rolled up the sleeve of his sweater, nor did he realize the frown his wrist was receiving from the five year old. Instead, all he heard was Morgan's tiny voice drowning out the sound of the TV.</p><p>"Petey?"</p><p>The teen hummed in response, not even having the energy to open his eyes.</p><p>"What is this?" He blinked an eye open to look at what his sister was talking about.</p><p>Morgan was holding his left arm in her tiny hands, the sleeve of the shirt rolled up to his elbow revealing his skin. </p><p>
  <em>And Peter felt the world stop for a second</em>
</p><p>because right there, on his arm right below his hand, -where a watch was <em>suppose </em>to be sitting-, was three, 2 inches long, cut-like scars.</p><p>
  <em>Scars that came from a time Peter would rather forget</em>
</p><p>
  <em>fuck</em>
</p><p>A tense silence filled the air as Peter tried to form out words. He saw Tony in the corner of his eye looking at him, and as he turned his head towards him, he was met with one of the most haunted looks his mentor has ever given <em>anyone </em>before. He could see the question in the philanthropist's eyes, a clear: <em>What the ever loving fuck kid!?</em></p><p>He tried to put as much assuring in his gaze he could muster, but goddammit was it hard when he could literally hear his mentor's heartbeat going 200 M.P.H. </p><p>"eh-erm" He tried to say something, but the words just wouldn't come out. The teen looked down at his wrist again before realizing the confused look Morgan was him. <em>Why did she have to get so nosy?'</em></p><p>Maybe he could, like, lie. Obviously Morgan wouldn't know that he was, but Tony was a whole other conversation. They were old, <em> Of course</em> they was, he didn't feel like that anymore, he was happy now, he had a family, a sister, a new father, hell even a second <em>mother</em>. But he had no idea how to explain that to Tony</p><p>
  <em>at least not without giving him a heart-attack.</em>
</p><p>He was about to make a run for it, when an idea suddenly popped up in his head. It was risky, and he was technically about to explain self-harm to a five year old, (even if it would be low-key). But something told him Morgan would understand, and even if she wouldn't, than he could just play it of as a story.</p><p>So, before he could change his mind, he turned on his best big-brother charm and hopefully he wouldn't make Tony go into cardiac-arrest.</p><p>He sat up a little bit straighter by lifting Morgan a few inches in the air and placing his legs in a cross seated position on the couch.</p><p>Tony was still watching wordlessly as Peter turned Morgan around so she was facing him in his lap. He would have found that position rather adorable if he hadn't just found out that his kid had scars on his wrist from doing something <em>horrible. </em></p><p>God, Tony felt so stupid</p><p>
  <em>how hadn't he noticed?</em>
</p><p>He watched as Peter was putting on his famous storytelling look, leaving Tony to realized he was probably about to play it of as resent Spider-Man fight. The kid shifted a little before giving Morgan a mystic look as he started talking</p><p>"Well, you see, I got these scars a <em>long</em> time ago" Peter said slowly in an over-dramatic tone "back when my work as spider-man was still pretty new" Morgan's eyes widened in curiosity and amazement when she realized he was about to tell her another spider-man fight.</p><p>"Who were you fighting?" Morgan asked in excitement.</p><p>He looked around, trying to appear as if he was checking that they weren't being watched</p><p>even though he was actually just trying to come up with a name.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He swore he could hear life laughing at him right now</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Well... some people, like to call him <em>The mentalian" </em> Look, he literally only had three second to come up with something, sue him!</p><p>"The mentalian?" Morgan asked in awe. Peter hummed in response making Morgan's eyes glister of amazement.</p><p>"You see, The mentalian has a special power where he can manipulate a person's mind by going inside it, and he, went inside mine" The little girl's eyes widen as she looked up at her brother.</p><p>"He went inside your mind?" She asked shockingly, making Peter physically force himself not to melt at her adorableness. </p><p>"Yeah, but don't worry he's not there anymore" He said with a playful tone making Morgan giggle a little before returning back to her amazement. </p><p>"Why would he attack you?" She asked worryingly. Peter gave her a soft smile in return.</p><p>"The Mentalian draws his powers from people's minds, it's how he survive. But he never goes after someone specific, so it was just unlucky enough for him to get stuck inside of mine" Morgan eyes possibly gets even wider. </p><p>"What does he do when he's stuck?" Her tone full of curiosity and wonder towards her brother. Peter gave her an mysterious look.</p><p>"You see, everyday, The Mentalian goes from person to person looking for a mind to take over. He doesn't have a physical form which means the only way to see him is if he gets stuck inside of you. Once he's inside, he starts to force you to think certain things, really sad things, and while doing so, it makes it easier for him to control you, that's how I got these for example" He motioned with his head towards his scars.</p><p>"He sounds mean" Morgan piped up.</p><p>"Oh he was, but he was also really strong" Peter explained "I almost couldn't defeat him once he got inside of me at first, but luckily at the end I did. You wanna know how?" </p><p>Morgan eagerly shook her head up and down, her body practically <em>shaking </em>of excitement.</p><p>"I asked for help" He explained simply, making Morgan -once again- look at him with confusion. He saw Tony's face change to understanding, obviously realizing where Peter was going. </p><p>"You see, defeating The Mentalian is incredibly hard, almost <em>impossible</em>, but one way to do so is by asking for help. I, for example, asked my Aunt May for help, and it worked, she supported me and pulled me up from bed everyday. My friends at school helped me too, like when I got to sad to realize what our teacher was talking about, they would take notes and show me afterwards"</p><p>
  <em>And he still felt incredibly guilty about it</em>
</p><p>"And you wanna know a secret?"</p><p>Morgan shook her head frantically up and down. </p><p>"Your dad helped me a lot too" </p><p>Tony's eyes widened as he looked at Peter. The kid was smiling warmly as he turned to look at the billionaire, Morgan was turning her head back and forth between her brother and her father, the new information she just gained making her eyes glister of wonder.</p><p>"You helped defeating The Mentalian daddy?" Morgan gasped, her body tipping forward a bit as she looked at her father. Tony just stared as he tried to form out words.</p><p>But luckily Peter beat him to it before Tony could even get out one </p><p>"You bet he did. You know, he was actually the one who helped the most" Tony turned his gaze to Peter as the kid was giving him a fond look. </p><p>"<em>woah"</em>  Morgan gasped as she fell backwards against Peter's chest. The kid laughed slightly before wrapping his arms around her tiny form. </p><p>"You liked you're story Mor?" The little girl yawned in response, before nuzzling herself closer into her brother's chest. The teen's grin widened as he pushed away a few hairs from his sister's head. </p><p>Tony decided to make a move before those goddamn kids would melt his heart.</p><p>"Well, it seems like it's time for bed" He clapped his hands together as he stood up from the couch. Morgan didn't even make a sound as she was transferred from Peter's arms to his. He gave the kid a soft smile before telling him he'd be back in a minute. </p><p>He could tell Peter was nervous, the way Peter was fiddling with his hands as he prepared himself for the inevitable conversation that would soon come his way. He tried to look as assuring as possible before he carried Morgan up to her room, but knowing Peter's freaky super hearing, the kid could probably hear his heart beating like a fucking maniac. </p><p><em>Calm down Tony, they're old, they have to</em> <em>be</em></p><p>He tucked Morgan in as his thoughts were exploding in his head. To be honest, the kid handle the situation like a fucking champ, of course Morgan was obvious to the hold meaning behind his story, but that didn't mean she would always be that.</p><p>He felt pride blooming in his chest for his kids as he kissed the top of his daughter's head before retreating out of her room. </p><p> </p><p>The stairs was crackling slightly as he made his way down, the TV wasn't making a sound anymore which means the movie was probably over. A calm silence seems to have wrap itself around the cabin, the only sound coming from the light drumming on the roof as the rain kept pouring outside. (He hated that he was going to break it soon)</p><p>He spotted Peter as he arrived downstairs, The teen was sitting hunched over in the couch as he examined his wrist. He realized now Peter was wearing one of his old M.I.T sweaters that he assumed the kid had so mischievously stolen. He smiled fondly at the curly haired teenager before clapping his hands together, making Peter snap his head up to look at him.</p><p>"And the Big Brother Of The Year Award goes to Peter Parker everyone!" He grinned as he threw his arms out in a wild gesture, making Peter blush slightly before rolling his eyes</p><p><em>"Ha, Ha, </em>you're funny" Peter said sarcastically making Tony's grin grow bigger for a second, although it quickly changed into concerned as he realized the kid seem to still be on the edge, The genius silently went over to the teenager making Peter sink further into the couch.</p><p>He grabbed Peter's right wrist and pulled it closer to himself making Peter sigh of annoyance, but luckily he didn't make a move to pull his arm away. </p><p>Tony dragged his thumb over the slightly reddish scars, the rough feeling of the still not completely healed skin making his stomach twist. It didn't make it better by the fact that they should have been healed by now, Peter said he got them in his early days as Spider-Man to Morgan, but how much he lied in his little bedtime story could be up to 100%, so Tony had no idea what to think. </p><p>They both sat in silence, their breathing and the drumming of the rain being the only consistent sound in the cabin. Tony turned his head to look at Peter as he held the teenager's hand in his. The kid's eyebrows was furrowed together as he stared at his arm, he took that as a sign to start talking.</p><p>"When did you-"</p><p>"Around two years ago, or, eight years for you" Peter said with a sigh, cutting of Tony's question in the process. </p><p>Okay, so they were old, it didn't make his anxiety go away though as Tony had thought it would. </p><p>"Why did you, you know-" Peter looked up at him as his grip in Tony's hand tightened.</p><p>"It was sometime after my uncle...died, May was working more and more and I didn't have any<em> real </em>support system that could be there at all times so" Peter swallowed "I guess it was the only outcome i saw at the time" something dark passed through the teens eyes as he turned his gaze towards the window " Well, that... And one other outcome" </p><p>The realization to what Peter meant felt like a pang in his heart</p><p>It was... surreal, the thought of his optimistic, brave and <em>happy </em>kid, had been in such a broken state that the only way to even <em>feel </em>something was either through pain or simply nothing at all, that the only way for Peter to have found happiness would have been to fall asleep and never wake up. </p><p>
  <em>God, When did that kid ever get a break?</em>
</p><p>He squeezed Peter's hand a little bit more, making Peter turn his head back to look at him. The kid was still wearing a uncomfortable look on his face, and if Tony wasn't wrong, it almost looked like pain.  </p><p>"Why didn't you tell me about this?" He asked, ignoring the way his voice cracked. Peter stared at him for a while, looking as if he was debating if Tony was serious or not, at the end, the kid decided to go with a sigh before shrugging.</p><p>"I don't know, I guess I thought it wasn't important" Tony sighed as he watched Peter turn his gaze towards his scars again.</p><p>"Peter-" </p><p>"what? It's true, why would it be important? I literally got them because I couldn't get my shit on hold and thought cutting my own wrist would make it better, there's <em>way </em>more important things than that" He hated how sure Peter sounded, like he had somehow convinced himself that what he just said was true. He sighed as he used two fingers to tip Peter's head up so he could look him in the eye.</p><p>"Peter, you're mental health is more important than <em>anything</em> about you, these aren't scars from a person who wasn't strong enough, they're scars from a person who managed to walk through hell and get out on the other side so please kid, you got to realized you're worth <em>way</em> more than you think"</p><p>And it was true, Peter had always doubted himself, thinking the only reason people payed a mind to him was either because they were forced to, or because of Spider-Man. </p><p>He hated the thought of Peter not realizing just how important he is to people, how important he is to <em>him,</em> hell, he figured out <em>time-travel</em>, gave his past self a heart attack, and almost died in the process just to get his boy back. Peter meant <em>everything </em>to him, just how much Morgan did, and he would be damned if Peter would never understand that.</p><p>The kid was just staring at him, looking like he was about to say something, but instead went for a sigh as he slumped back against the couch. Tony followed suit as he brought an arm around the kid, his hand playing absently with the kid's hair, it was such a little thing to do, but it had always been something that made them both lose their unease.</p><p>"I know I am" Peter said after a minute of silence "but sometimes it's just hard for my brain to... get that" The kid mumbled.</p><p>He brought his kid closer until he was laying with his head up against his chest, his arms around the kid's upper half as he let his forehead fall on top of Peter's. </p><p>"I get it, I do, but trust me Pete when I say everything that your mind thinks about yourself is wrong, okay? I love you, May loves you, Morgan, Pepper, Ned, that scary girl who kinda feels like she's Pepper's secret kid loves you" The kid giggled at that, it was childish and  absolutely <em>beautiful </em>to hear, it felt like a million suns light up the inside of his chest, making him smile fondly into the air above Peter's head.</p><p>"We all love ya kid, and I'll say it over and over until you'll get it" He kissed the top of Peter's head, making the teenager let out a content sigh in the process.</p><p>He let his head fall back against the couch cushions as he closed his eyes, the smile on his face never fading. Slowly, he felt the kid getting heavier and heavier until he heard soft snores coming out of the Teen, he looked down at his pseudo son, safe, warmed and loved</p><p>And right before his mind drifted of to a peaceful slumber, he tapped out one last thing on the back of Peter's neck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I.   L.O.V.E   Y.O.U </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He hoped Peter did the same</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And that was the end of the story folks! </p><p>I myself have never been related to self-harm but iv'e had people close to me who has, it makes me sad to think there's people who feels so lost that -to them- pain seems to be the only way to, I guess feel something. Luckily, a lot of the people I knew got better and learned that talking to people often helps. If you feel like this I promise there's people who are ready to help, so talk to them, they'll make it better! </p><p>Love you all! &lt;3</p><p>PS: This was, and never will, be written as St*rker</p></blockquote></div></div>
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